Wandering Through...

(Source: myloish, via clairebearnz)

You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.

If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”

On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.

The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.

There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?

Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.

This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.

So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.

For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.

—   

an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)

HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.

Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.

(via lil-ith)

It’s also just rude and disrespectful to patently ignore what someone has told you regarding their personal space, body, and time. Get a clue.

(via geekdomme)

I will always reblog this. Always.

(via myherocomplex)

So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone.

(via alamaris)

yes

(via thefitally)

(Source: lostgrrrls, via feministjewishfangirl)


fuck racism too

Anonymous said: Hi, I saw your donation drive on AO3, and I'm wondering what the money is for, exactly? $70,000 seems like a /lot/ of money. Is there somewhere I can see a list of intended purposes? Thank you!

uniwolfwerecorn:

januarium:

transformativeworks:

70,000 USD does seem like a lot, which is why many of our users may be surprised to find out that in 2015, the OTW will need 75,000 USD just to replace old servers and expand capacity! The OTW’s annual budget for 2014 is 221,863.44 USD, and 70% of that goes directly to servers, collation, and staff development for AO3. The remaining 30% of our 2014 budget funds Fanlore, Legal Advocacy, Open Doors, and Transformative Works and Cultures; covers administrative costs; allows for outreach and membership development (such as our thank you gifts and shipping); and provides opportunities for professional development and training for personnel. All of these things help the OTW protect and celebrate fans and fan culture.

I find it amazing that people think that’s a lot of money to ask. It’s incredibly expensive to fund such heavily used and non ad supported websites, and that before anyone even gets paid for their work. I am definitely donating what I can to this drive, and I hope if you have a few dollars spare and benefit from Archive of Our Own, or any of their projects you will consider dona ting as well.

We currently have 16365 fandoms, 418361 registered users, and 1330541 works. (x)

And it’s free of advertising, it’s non-commercial, it’s our haven and we can be certain that our fanworks don’t get banned or deleted or censored. AO3 has given a multinational fandom a platform, and, with the OfTW, a voice. So if you can spare a few dollars, do it!

Period:

You want cookies

Period:

You want to fuck

Period:

You want to fuck while eating cookies.

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Let's be sad about trivial things, shall we?

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Kill them.

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Kill them too.

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Kill them and eat their cookies.

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Shhhh it's okay you'll feel better soon.

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HAHAHAHAHA NO YOU WON'T FUCK YOU.

Period:

Whoops you dropped a spoon better cry

(Source: slayerage, via goldminegoldmine)

simonjadis:

I CAN’T

(via queenklu)

(Source: wilted-scenes, via fourteenacross)

theamazingindi:

'You need to read YOUR manga dude!' replied william shatner